Lately I have been struggling with agoraphobia. I haven't wanted to go anywhere outside my apartment, car, and work. I keep making excuses, but it's getting really, really, bad. I am at the point where just going to the beach, which I used to do daily, seems like an insurmountable task.
I used to have nightmares about having agoraphobia. I guess they were premonitions.
There was a time that I actually longed to travel, and then the fear of traveling set in, and it got worse, and worse, and now, it's reaching it's conclusion. I don't want to leave the house. I don't even want to spend time in the yard.
I dream of buying a house, but TSLA crashing from $370 to $180 ended that dream.
I almost bought one last winter in Prunedale. I even started to buy furniture for it, and then I chickened out. It was a long commute, but the house would have been mine. It had wonderful vintage 70's tile. Some flipper is probably going to buy it and tear it all out and replace it with barn wood laminate and quartz.
If a flipped A frame in Prundale goes up in flames in the next couple of years, they might as well come get me.
Who am I kidding? I'm not going to drive to Salinas just to commit arson. I can barely leave the house.
It would have actually been a good decision financially, even if I thought it was a folly at the time. I didn't know my net worth would be halved 4 months later. I should have followed my heart on this one. If I had cashed out and bought that house, I would have had to cash out almost all my TSLA, which was hovering near $400 a share. Now it's around $200, and I still live in a rat infested fire trap.
I could be living in my OWN termite infested fire trap instead!
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