Sunday, September 19, 2010

I got the "Original" Twelve Dollar Surfboard out of Storage!

Its good to have him back. I know as an ocean-going vessel The Byrne should be a "She" but I spend a lot of time riding him and and I don't swing that way, often. My god is that thing lighter than my epoxy boards! I'd like to take him out just for the hell of it, but I'd probably end up sinking pretty fast. I missed him. I've been frustrated with my lack of improvement lately and I thought if I took him out I'd remind me why I started instead of frustrating me like everyone said it would. The fact is, I had FUN on that thing. Yes, I used it as a glorified body board, yes, it may have been the worst board to start with ever, yes, it may be the root cause of every frustration I have with surfing, but its still the thing that made me look at my life and say "(insert higher power of choice) you gave me this, and I'm going to run with it!"

In the end it was me, not the board, that has to learn to surf, in the end, its me that has to practice her pop ups and pearl ten thousand times. It was me who had to get a car, leave her husband, have a 60 mile round trip commute, and work nights all to support my surfing habit. UH, habit, may not be strong enough a word here.

And now I need to go to bed early, I have a feeling tomorrow might be too big for me here and I'll have to drive south to find something I can surf.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

I love being single! I LOVE IT!!!!

I married my third boyfriend. I was almost never "single" my whole adult life and jumped into a very stupid rebound- out of habit. My friends want me to date, telling me to get on OK Stupid or whatever, and its not like I have any trouble getting guys, its not. I even got set up with a very sweet very cute guy and we're dating, but I want to put on my FaceBook under interests "Not Having a Boyfriend" Because not dealing with being in a romantic relationship with another person is the greatest feeling I've ever had in my entire life. Its better than being in love!!! SO MUCH BETTER!!!!! I don't know how single people could possibly want to give this up. Being free is the best feeling in the world.

I don't understand why it is that when I say I'm sad about my divorce, they ask if I'm seeing anyone. The answer is yes- well I'm dating someone, but its not serious. I've even thought I should break it off because I don't want him to get too attached, but I guess if he's willing to take it slow, its ok. I'm sad because I'm sad that I'm getting divorced, not because I'm lonely. I'm developing something I needed so badly, a deep personal relationship with myself, and I'm starting to find out that I'm fucking awesome. I should have done this 15 years ago!