"Making a Disabled vet's Dream Come True"

About a week ago, I met what I thought was a "Kid" who wanted to learn to surf, I call him a "kid" because when I met him, because of his looks and mannerisms, I thought he was in his late teens or early 20's. He told me that he had been surfing Ocean Beach in San Francisco by himself, three times, and I was the first surfer he had met since moving here. I told him I was always looking for people to surf with and would call him the next time I went out. I got sick for a week, but called him Friday to assure him that I had not forgotten him and wanted to take him surfing at the Jetty in HMB (a much more appropriate beginner spot) for International Surfing Day, which is today.

Yesterday, he called me four times, because when I called him Friday he got confused and thought I meant I was going to take him out Saturday, I thought he was just confused because he was a stoner, but once I stared spending some time with him, it became more and more apparent he was more than stoned.

I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure he's suffering from some kind of impairment he sustained in the war. His behavior is markedly child-like, more than I can justify by him smoking pot. He told me on the way to The Jetty that I was "Making a Disabled Vet's Dream Come True" by helping him learn to surf. Already suspicious that there was something more than pot at work here, I asked him what his disability was, and he told me that he had a plate in his hand, his ankle and his face, as well as PTSD and brain bruising.

Sadly, I think his child-like behavior is more than grom enthusiasm or stoner giddiness. I'm pretty sure he's not all there, and my room mate who met him briefly who is a nurse practitioner thinks so as well.

We lucked out with Jetty conditions yesterday, when we pulled up a couple of obviously experienced surfers told us it was mushy. I'm guessing that they spotted my short boards in the car and assumed we were more experienced and picky than we actually were. I told them it was only his third time and that it was probably perfect for us. Like a lot of veteran surfers north of Santa Cruz, they were more than happy to offer advice and pointed out my favorite semi-secret learning spot just south of the more popular take off point. I call it semi-secret, because not that many people surf the little mini beach break I like just south of the jetty itself, I've never understood exactly why.

It was windy, but the waves were near-perfect, at least for beginners. And we had the normally crowded jetty to ourselves. I think a lot of people gave up because the waves weren't great and the weather wasn't great, but we lucked out and hit the tide just right and the waves kept getting better and better after we arrived.

I know this guy has a crush on me, and I'm not sure what to do. Even though He's an attractive guy, I'm going to have to tell him I'm not interested and I have to admit the reason is that I'm not is that he is obviously impaired and I need more intellectual stimulation than just a really sweet, good looking guy who seems to have the mental faculty of a child.

He told me how much money he got for disability (one thing that makes me think he's not all there because that's not the kind of information you volunteer to someone you've just met) and while it's not a lot, I'm sure its enough that the government would think you could live on if you were completely unable to work a normal job, and he's obviously not suffering from any kind of physical disability. He told me he spends his day at his art studio downtown, and I saw a flier for it in his room, and without snooping too much, I'm pretty sure its some kind of a day-program for vets.

I really do want to help him learn to surf, and would regardless, but now I feel a little bit of a sense of responsibility to make sure he doesn't accidentally kill himself on OB. Fortunately, I could tell he's physically able to handle it, as he was a swimmer and wrestler in high school and has the strength required to be a marine. The common sense though, I'm not sure. I think I'm going to need help with this one.

Newly Single, its becomming more and more apparent I should only date surfers

This is about my dating life and not very interesting or informative so I don't expect anybody to read it unless they really want to know. It's pretty funny in parts though. I guess it would be a good read if you are thinking about dating a surfer so you know what you might get into. Or if you have dated a surfer who behaved this way and want validation.

And JUST IN CASE you've dated me recently, and you find this you may want to move on, I get pretty harsh.

So why am I publishing this snarky master-rant? I don't really know. Not a lot of people read my blog, so it doesn't really matter. And it's about my surf life and how it effects every aspect of my life. Its kind of a warning letter to anyone who would date me, or to people who might be falling into the lifestyle I've chosen, or that chose me.

This doesn't represent all surfers though, just me. And possibly some more...

I've had one rebound boyfriend and a handful of dates since I left my husband last August. The biggest problem with all of the guys- not surfers.

This friend of a friend I met on the beach was talking about how surfers make bad boyfriends. I've never dated a surfer in my very limited dating life, but I'm sure its true from personal experience because were I a guy I would make a very, very bad boyfriend. I'll flake out on you for good surf, without a call or text. I did that this Saturday. I flaked on a baby shower once, and not just anybody's baby shower, these were very close friends! But the swell was just so perfect that day, they were the best conditions I'd been in since I STARTED surfing. I was never a flake before I became a surfer, ask anyone. But sometimes when the surf is good, or even if its bad and you are having a good session "Just one more wave" turns into seven or eight more waves. When looking for surf "I'll be back by two" gets you a call at three that you will be home by six, and you roll in around 8:30 to a very pissed off husband.

The longer I've been away from rebound boy, the more I realize dating someone who turned out to revert to yuppie scum would never work. One time at the movies He actually bought bottled water FOR me, without asking of course. I was thirsty, but I would have rather gone thirsty. I know he thought he was being nice, so I can't really blame him, but he knew how I felt about bottled water. And he used to line paper bags with plastic ones for trash! He thought the practice was brilliant. I wouldn't know, I don't even make that much trash, I rarely get a paper bag, and most of the plastic ones I end up with I pick up as litter. And his weakness for trendy electronics? As much as I really love the video camera he gave me once he got bored with it, in the long run his conspicuous consumption would have driven me mad.

I went out with a guy on Friday. The problem with this guy is that he thinks he's a lot more interesting than he is, and even though I was having fun, all I could think of was how this wasn't worth staying up so late I would miss dawn patrol. He wanted me to visit him on Saturday, but the surf was really good and it wasn't worth it to go see him, even for a really cheap tattoo that I'd been wanting for months. Out of the water for long enough for it to heal? UNTHINKABLE.

On Sunday, I spotted Friday guy at Java Beach, at least I think it was him. The truth is that even though this guy thinks he's original and stands out, maybe he does where he comes from, but in SF he doesn't even stand out among the guys who want to date me! There are probably HUNDREDS of tattooed fifty's retro hipsters who think they are pirates in this city. He said he was a viking? What a joke! The rebound guy said he was was a viking. It was only cute the first time, and in spite of Friday Boys missing leg (really) my co-worker Tyson is a much better Pirate, as he is an actual pirate and not a pirate wanna be. So when I saw what might have been Friday guy at the cafe I tried to hide then I ran away. Not an easy feat with my long board in tow. I decided that since the guy I was hiding from had a missing leg I headed for the Beach. Where I met Sunday Boy.

I wound up fooling around with this really cute guy I met on the beach, but after a few hours the guy got boring and all I wanted to do was go surf. He begged me to go have a drink with him because he thought he was making me uncomfortable because he was worried I thought he as a creep but he was only making me uncomfortable because he was eating up my surf time. It was my own fault for fooling around with him instead of taking off to surf, but I'm still pissed that Sunday Boy took up all my time and I missed surfing on Sunday, especially since the flu I had been fighting off for a week decided to come on full strength Monday around 10 AM and now I'm going to be out of the surf for a week or so again.

Now compare that to the one time I did run into a surfer-boy who I think might have a little bit of a crush on me. He was coming in from a morning session while I was doing my surf check, I needed to go to the Farmer's market so we wound up going to the Farmers Market (FUN!) then going for an afternoon sesh at Sloat (MORE FUN!!) I got stuck in the shore break because it was WAY too big for me, and he surfed with me for a bit and disappeared. He didn't really disappear though, he just went to the outside to catch a few good ones. He apologized when he came to check up on me, but he really didn't have to. This is something I EXPECT when surfing with people beyond my ability, because I don't want to hold them back for my sake. And someday I pray to god I will disappear to the outside while surfing with someone below my ability and they will understand the way I do now. Its also good for me because it helps me push myself when I DO try to follow them. Case in point was when I tried to follow professional big wave surfer Jose "Jarrita" Gomez. I worked so hard that day! If I pushed myself that hard every day I'd probably be surfing Mavericks already. But the point is that when I hung out with him, I had fun and my mind was in the moment AND I was enjoying his company, as opposed to me thinking about how I was bored and wanted to ditch the guy and go surf.

Now I can see how this behavior might piss off a girlfriend who's boyfriend is doing it to her, unless she was a surfer before she met him, in which case hopefully she would have the same point of view I do.

The other problem she had with surfer boys is (or so I've heard and experienced a couple times) is that they tend to have a wandering eye. While I don't really want to perpetuate negative stereotypes about my own people, my complete inability to successfully participate in monogamy is (Obviously) a big reason I'm divorced. Now, I don't blame that on surfing, if anything, surfing helped me stay faithful because it filled whatever need I had that go outside my marriage. But I will say that spending a lot of time around extremely fit people and hanging out in the Ocean and at the beach doesn't exactly keep you away from sexual temptation.

One of my hot (male) surfer buddies just loves to flirt with anything of the opposite sex on the beach in front of me to show off. If I were his girlfriend this might bother me, but as it is I just think its funny. Fortunately, for him I think he's found a girlfriend who also thinks it's funny. Thing is, I do it too! One time a whole truck of teenage boys stopped at the stop sign where I cross Great Highway started to hoot at me, and being a big Ol Cougar I was delighted and turned around with my best flirtatious smile and waved and cooed "Helloooooo Boys!" Another time I was changing in the parking and a guy from a truck full of teenage boys yelled "Show me what's under that towel, baby girl!" So I did! Heh Heh Heh. I am the worst role model ever, I personally have set the woman's movement back 50 years. I suck! This behavior from me is bad enough, but if I were a guy, it would make me a total douche bag! I would be a very, very, bad boyfriend.

So why would I want to date someone who would behave this way? Because I'm just as bad! I need a level playing field here. Don't expect me to commit. I won't to anything but surfing. Don't expect me to only have eyes for you, there are too many beautiful people around me for that. Don't get serious or attached, because I'm already in love with something that you just can't compete with.

Green Pug Goes Blue

Dave and I couldn't wait for Puglet (The Green Pug) to come out with his "World Ocean's Day" video. And here it is!

Its my surfer birthday!

I just realized it was three years ago TODAY that I bought my $12 surfboard from Saver's Daly City! I remembered that I bought it the Saturday before Memorial Day because it was a memorial day sale. Somehow though, even though I'd been looking forward to it, and even considered having a party to celebrate, but it somehow slipped my mind today and even though it was a beautiful day, and the surf was good, I didn't even make it out to surf today. I keep having to remind myself I don't have to surf EVERY day to be a surfer. I feel like I wasted the day- although that's crazy talk because I went to the Farmer's Market and a surf swap, which is certainly NOT a waste of a sunny Saturday. I wish I had headed right out to surf right after putting my groceries away instead of going on the internet. That was dumb. It was beautiful and now it's windy and all blown out. How I managed to kill probably over an hour screwing around on the internet and at home I'll never know, although I did take out the compost and have to gerry rig a leaky toilet, both fairly urgent things. Its ok, probably giving my knee another day to heal won't hurt.

Going Plastic Free in the shower!

I get to wash my hair again!

I haven't washed my hair in... a really long time. Its disgusting. like a month, not kidding. I've been looking at ways to reduce my plastic consumption and got the idea from Fake Plastic Fish to use a shampoo bar from Lush. I also entertained the idea of buying shampoo in bulk, but someone neatened up the bathroom and got rid of my empty shampoo and conditioner bottles. And when I happened by the local co op I didn't have my bag on me so I didn't want to buy anything. That's something I've just started doing. I almost always have my bag, but if for whatever reason I don't, I end up with a plastic one. Its always something impulsive I probably didn't need anyway, so I've just stopped buying anything if I don't have a bag.

*I should note that the plastic bags I usually use for my beach clean ups aren't usually mine. If I do find myself accidentally ending up with a single use plastic bag, my penance is to fill it with litter. I steal a lot of them from my room mates (who will never notice) The bulk of them though, I actually find as litter

Beth Terry does have instructions on "Fake Plastic Fish" for washing one's hair without shampoo, but especially trying to consume less, I could not resist an excuse to treat myself to something from Lush. I almost never buy myself nice girly shampoo and stuff, not that I don't want to, I just want to be practical since I don't make a lot of money. But an ecological reason to pamper myself? Sign me up!

The problem: Lush is Downtown. Which is like on the other side of the country from The Sunset. My commute home takes me around it, not through it, and I hate parking downtown. Who doesn't? Now normally this would not be a big deal and I would either take transit or stop after work, park in SOMA and run a bunch of errands at once, but the ACL complicated the matter.

Well, yesterday my friend was spinning at SupperClub so I was downtown and got my shampoo and conditioner! My hair will no longer have more oil in it than the gulf of mexico.

More bags than I started with

So since I've been trying to cut down on plastic I've been annoyed that I've had to put my vegetables in plastic bags to weigh them at the farmer's market, don't know why it didn't occur to me to bring my own mesh bags, but when I saw that idea I wanted to jump on it.

I made a little bit of an error with the bags I ended up with. While I intended to make my own, I realized I wasn't going to get around to it, with so I bought some re-usable (but plastic) ones. I thought if I bought those green bags that are supposed to keep things fresh I could kill two birds with one stone, but it turns out they don't really work that well because moisture builds up inside them and you have to be really vigilant about wiping them out. But still I was bringing my own bags to the Farmer's market, which was still an improvement.

Unfortunately, as I was leaving the farmer's market I encountered a tornado of plastic. It was windy and there was this spot where all these plastic bags that had gotten away were collecting. After being traumatized by having the great pacific garbage patch wash up in my back yard, I couldn't bring myself to just do nothing, so I went to the spot and collected an obscene number of bags. I'm not even sure how many I came home with, but it was a lot. enough to fill two of them, anyway.

Well, since I've been laid up with a sprained ACL its been hard for me to sit in one place and stay off my leg and as soon as I felt well enough to walk on it, I did, and I way over did it. So I've decided to spend the day re-acquainting myself with plastic bag crochet. Right now I'm making the yarn, and hopefully I will have enough to go outside pretty soon and sit in the sun and do it. Making the yarn is boring considering I have to do it inside so it won't blow away.